Wednesday, September 9, 2009

How to Raise Good Kids

I found this gem of a book, written by Barbara Cook in 1978, in my library. I dusted it off, and had a look. There is much wisdom therein, and here's a sample:

What Are Your Goals in Parenting?

What God Wants for my Child

(positive goals in character building)

Therefore, I Will Not Allow:

(negative opposites)

1. Obedience

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.


2. Respect for Authority

Ephesians 6:2 “Honor your father and mother”

Rebellious attitude, smart mouth, backtalk, scornful look, rudeness

3. Self-control

Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

Proverbs 16:32 Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

Proverbs 25:28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

Unrestrained anger,

temper tantrums,

prolonged self-pity spells

4. Patience

1 Thessalonians 5:14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

Impatience and sharpness

5. Diligence

(enthusiasm, motivation, & the ability to work)

Proverbs 15:19 The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway.

Romans 12:11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.

Laziness or nonchalant disinterest

6. Kindness

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Rudeness & selfishness

7. Courage & Confidence

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

2 Timothy 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Fear & timidity

8. Happiness & Joy

(love for life)

1 Peter 3:10 For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;

Philippians 2:14 Do all things without grumbling or questioning.

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

Depression & Complaining

9. Love for Others

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour.

James 4:11 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.

Titus 3:1-2 Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarrelling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.


10. Ability to Get Along with People

Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Romans 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Proverbs 17:14 The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.

James 4:1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions
are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.


11. Honesty

Romans 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all.

Ephesians 4: 25, 25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbour, for we are members one of another.

Ephesians 4:28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labour, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.

Proverbs 11:1 A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight.

Lying, cheating & stealing

12. Wisdom & Knowledge

Proverbs 2:4 if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
7 he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
he is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
8 guarding the paths of justice
and watching over the way of his saints.
9 Then you will understand righteousness and justice
and equity, every good path;

Proverbs 8:33 Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it.

Ignorance & Lack of Education

13. Purity

2 Timothy 2:22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Perverted thinking or wrong information about physical intimacy

14. Friendliness

Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

2 Timothy 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.


15. Dependability, Loyalty

(Responsibility & Faithfulness)

Proverbs 11:13 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets,

but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

Proverbs 25:19 Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble

is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.


Balanced Growth: Spiritual, Physical, Mental, & Social Development

Luke 2:40 And the child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom. And the favour of God was upon him.

Luke 2:52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favour with God and man.

The final touch: Being Filled with the Holy Spirit

Luke 3:21 Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heavens were opened, 22 and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form, like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”

Luke 4:1 And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness

Luke 4:14 And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee, and a report about him went out through all the surrounding country.

I printed off this chart to use for memory work this year in our homeschool. Character training is something we continually work on, as we point our children to Christ. We don't want to teach our children not to lie, per se, but to teach them that there is a Truth-teller that is watching, and that they will some day give an account for their honesty (or lack thereof) to Him. Character building has to come from within, from fruit that grows from roots that are sunk deep into the Source of Life. All other character training is "fruit-stapling", and will not last.


  1. Cool! I might just yoink that from ya. ;)

  2. Very good. Do you have it in hard copy? I want to yoink it too.

  3. I think I could be persuaded to print off a copy for y'all.

  4. There are a lot of "y" words flying around here.


Remember that you will give an account for every word. Respond with wisdom and grace, please.