Cut Out Your Tongue

It's hard to tame the tongue, but it's essential for those who wish to abide in Christ and live for the glory of God.  We ought not to teach others anything if we aren't sincerely striving to tame our tongues.  


How do we do that? James tells us that no human being can tame the tongue, because it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  With the tongue, we bless our Heavenly Father, but sadly we turn around and use the same tongue to curse people who are made in the image of God.


The only way to tame the tongue is to cut it out.  


The only way to tame it is to give it to Jesus, for Him to do with it as He pleases.  

• Wise women use their tongues to build up their husbands.  

• Wise mothers use their tongues to bless and teach their children.

• Wise friends use their tongues to encourage their friends.

Be wise.  Give your tongue to Jesus Christ.  His words are beautiful, wonderful words of life.




You may find this review of War of Words helpful.

At War? Contentious? Are you a miserable comforter?

Called to Counsel

None of us live in a vacuum. We interact daily with family, with friends, with strangers in real life or online. As Christians, each of us is an Ambassador for Christ, called to be the image of God to our neighbours. Whether we speak or type, what we say matters.

Wise Words, or Not

Are your words like "hot, bubbling wax on open sores"? When you open your mouth or sit at the keyboard to communicate with the world, or with your loved ones in your home, what is your motivation? Have you learned to come alongside the person you are counselling, entering their world and hungering to understand their lives, or are you shooting pat answers at them as you whiz by the galaxy on the way to your heavenly heights?


You only have to spend a little time reading the Book of Job to understand what a miserable comforter is.

Miserable comforters don't necessarily have bad theology.

There is a way of using theology and theological arguments that wounds rather than heals. This is not the fault of theology and theological arguments; it is the fault of the “miserable comforter” who fastens on an inappropriate fragment of truth, or whose timing is off, or whose attitude is condescending, or whose application is insensitive, or whose true theology is couched in such culture-laden clichés that they grate rather than comfort. In times of extraordinary stress and loss, I have sometimes received great encouragement and wisdom from other believers; I have also sometimes received extraordinary blows from them, without any recognition on their part that that was what they were delivering. Miserable comforters were they all. ~ Don Carson, "For The Love of God".

Competent to Counsel

One of the first things we eager students learned from the Great, Lean, Teaching Machine, Ron Harris, was that counselling of any sort must be INCARNATIONAL. Jesus entered our world and came alongside those to whom He was ministering (John 1:14), and loved them. He was patient and kind, protecting His sheep even as He corrected them.

The best way to impact another's life is with honest self-disclosure. Be willing to talk about your weakness, the temptations you face, the hardships, pressures, sufferings and failures you endure. Then the person you are comforting or mentoring will say, "That's it! You get it! You know what it is to live life under the curse, to be beaten up, thrown down, discarded and bruised!" (See 2 Cor. 1:3-11)

Comfort in Christ

When you get it, when you share with others and they know you understand their weaknesses, there is only one answer: Together, you and your listeners can flee to Christ!

Bold for Christ

You may think you just have to tell the truth, that you just have to point out sin, that you just have to set them straight, and you may even convince yourself that what you are doing glorifies God. It doesn't.

There is a pretended boldness for Christ that arises from no better principle than pride. A man may be forward to expose himself to the dislike of the world, and even to provoke their displeasure, out of pride. For it is the nature of spiritual pride to cause men to seek distinction and singularity; and so oftentimes to set themselves at war with those that they call carnal, that they may be more highly exalted among their party. ~ Don Carson.

If you are warring with others, ask yourself what is motivating the battle.  Are you growing in grace with others, deepening relationships with them as you both learn more of what it is to abide in Christ?  Or are you simply alienating yourself from others because you are right, and they are wrong?


Be at Peace


If what you are writing or saying is causing division, you must examine yourself.  If wars and contentions arise on a regular basis, is it possible that you are failing to rightly divide the Word of Truth?  Remember, Jesus is full of grace AND truth, and His followers must emulate Him.  Don Carson writes about his experience of being comforted miserably, and wisely counsels us to examine our own ways:

Such experiences, of course, drive me to wonder when I have wrongly handled the Word and caused similar pain. It is not that there is never a place for administering the kind of scriptural admonition that rightly induces pain: justified discipline is godly (Heb. 12:5-11). The tragic fact, however, is that when we cause pain by our application of theology to someone else, we naturally assume the pain owes everything to the obtuseness of the other party. It may, it may—but at the very least we ought to examine ourselves, our attitudes, and our arguments very closely lest we simultaneously delude ourselves and oppress others. ~ Don Carson

The Bottom Line


Offer what Christ does.  Model what Christ models.  Encourage the timid, help the weak, warn the idle.  Be patient with everyone.  Be kind.  

War of Words

This is the best book I have ever read on the struggle we have in communication, and I've read plenty. I am often quick to speak, and I find myself regretting the words that come out of my mouth. I know my tongue can be a dreadful thing, used to cut like a sword or flatten like a pancake those who are messing up my world. I have memorized many a verse that addresses the tongue, but it's still a struggle for me to not let ANY unwholesome talk come out of my mouth.

That's why Paul Tripp's book is such a godsend. He doesn't beat his readers up with rules, "Do not gossip", "Do not lie", "Do not speak unkindly"... etc. He sets the stage at the beginning, before the first words were spoken by man in the garden of Eden. He reminds us that the Creator who SPOKE the universe into existence is the Great Speaker.

Paul writes,

"The wonder, the significance, the glory of human communication has its roots in his glory and in his decision to talk with us and allow us to talk with him and others. . . Words belong to God, but he has lent them to us so that we might know him and be used by him."

Words do not belong to us. Every word we speak should reflect God's glory. Our words belong to Him.

When the Serpent entered the garden and spoke to Eve, the war of words began. For the first time, a lie was spoken. For the first time, too, people spoke against each other. For the first time, words of accusation were spoken against God.

Life is War. There's a battlefield in our homes, in the workplace, in the church, in the community. There's a dramatic conflict between the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms and the people of God. There are things we need to understand about this war.

Understand God is Sovereign. He rules, unchallenged, over the universe.

No one has taught God, no one give him advice, no one can legitimately question him, and no one can stand in the way of his will. He sits on the throne of the universe, and he alone rules.

He rules over all things for the church.

He controls the universe so that his redemptive purpose for us and his redemptive promises to us will be fulfilled.

If we understand that the God who loves us - who called us by His grace and for His own glory, who is in control of every aspect of our lives and will without a doubt keep every promise He has made - if we understand that this God orders every moment of our lives, how will it change the way we speak with one another?

He rules over the specific details of our lives. Don't like the car you drive? Don't like your home, your job, your finances? God designed it perfectly for you. Does your talk express envy towards those who have what you long for? Are you missing the fact that God is active in every moment of our lives? Are you forgetting that He brings all things into our lives for our redemptive good?

He rules over every aspect of our salvation. We are utterly dependent on Him. Apart from His grace, there is no hope for us. We owe a debt we cannot pay. And the greatest gift of all is clearly stated in John 3:16. He gave His only begotten Son.

The bottom line of biblical communication, the first and highest goal of all of our talk: that our words would reflect an attitude of worship that recognizes our utter dependency on God for salvation. - p. 76

He rules over circumstances for our sanctification. He's at work in each and every situation, conforming us to the image of His Son. He doesn't just save us and leave us... He works in us (We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works. Eph. 2:10).

When we complain about the problems and pressures in our lives, we are essentially grumbling in the face of God. We are complaining that we have been chosen by his love and grace, and that he is putting us in situations designed to make us his holy people! - p.77

Remember, God sends trials into our lives for His good purposes. We're to count them all joy. We're to trust Him in the storms of life, knowing that He will never leave us, nor forsake us, and that He is always in control. We must remember the presence of a Sovereign God, and the truth of His sanctifying control over our circumstances.

He rules over relationships for my sanctification. The people in our lives are not there by accident. That woman who is very needy, that man who is overly friendly, that obnoxious neighbour... all of them are instruments in the Hand of God. Stop treating people as irritants and obstacles, and see them for who they are - special, created beings, placed in your life for a reason. What does God want you to learn from them? How does God want you to minister to them?

He rules over all things for His glory.

He's not at work to provide us with happiness or wealth, or to give us a positive self-image. He is working to make us lights that shine in darkness, so that people would see our good works and give him glory. - p. 82

In light of this, every word we speak should bring God the glory He deserves, and should bring redemptive good into the lives of the people God has placed around us. This high calling for our words - worship and redemption - is why there's a war of words. The Enemy wants us to speak our of our own will, to speak for our own glory. He wants us to speak out of selfish hearts committed to what seems best for us.

But we're called to be different. We're called to be a peculiar people.

We are called to speak out of a thankful heart of submission to God, in every circumstance and situation. The battle starts in the heart. Paul Tripp explains this...