Tomorrow for sure...

The day just got away from me.  I was searching for some files and busy with other things, so I just didn't get that Book Report on the book, Sabbath, by Dan Allender, done.  Mea Culpa... I'll try really hard to get to it tomorrow, or maybe Friday.  


Meanwhile, as I was sorting papers, I came across a neat little booklet by Wayne Mack, a Christian Counsellor.  It's called, "You Can Resolve Interpersonal Conflicts."


It's a great little booklet that discusses the difficulties between two women in the Bible, Euodia and Syntyche.  I remember a pastor once joking that their nicknames were "Odious" and "Soon-Touchy".  At any rate, they weren't getting along, and Paul urged them to live in harmony, and he urged their fellow workers to help them get along.  The booklet spells out the responsibility Christians have in seeking help with interpersonal conflicts when they arise, as well as the responsibility of others to counsel those going through difficulties.  


There are some good Suggested Assignments at the back of the booklet.  I'll copy them here for anyone who is interested:


1.  Make a list of several biblical principles for solving interpersonal conflicts.


2.  Circle the principles that you are guilty of violating.  Confess  your sins to God, seek cleansing through the blood of Christ, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you make the necessary changes.


3.  Make a list of what you have done or said that may have aggravated the situation.  The list should be very specific; it should include sins of omission as well as commission, sins of attitude as well as words and actions.  When you ask for forgiveness, be very careful to accept full responsibility for your own sins.  Talk about what you have done.  Don't justify or seek to rationalize.  Be brief and to the point, and beware of violating the principles expressed in the following three passages:

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. ~Ephesians 5:1-6 

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. ~Matthew 7:1-5 

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. ~James 4:11 

4.  Study Romans 12:18-21;  Philippians 2:1-9; 4-8; Ephesians 4:17-32; Colossians 3:12-15;  Matthew 5:42-49.  Make a list of insights that these Scriptures give for preventing or solving interpersonal conflicts.  Review these verses and insights daily.


5.  Make a list of good qualities or actions found in the other person's life (past or present).  Look for opportunities to express your appreciation for the other person's good qualities and actions.


6.  Make a list of specific, practical ways that you can serve, help, encourage or please the other person.  Begin immediately to put items on the list into practice.


7.  Assume personal responsibility for the other person's reputation. 

8.  Ask him for his advice on a question or project in which you are interested and about which he has some knowledge.  


9.  Seek out a Christian counsellor and ask him to help you become more biblical in your lifestyle in general and in your relationships in particular.  Certainly your main desire in life should be to glorify God, and that will happen as you become more biblical in your living.  If you have conflicts or problems that you have not been able to handle on your own, plan now from whom and when you will seek God's kind of help for  your own life.  


We live in a world that is full of sinners.  Look in the mirror to find the one with whom you will always have the most trouble.  Expect conflict in your life - it's going to happen - and learn to deal with it Biblically.  In so doing, you will glorify God and find peace.


If you have time (and it's worth every second) listen to D.A. Carson speak on The God Who Helps.

I Asked The Lord

This song resonates with me. I have often asked the Lord that I might grow in faith and love and every grace. I want to be wise, to seek His face, to have a deep and abiding relationship with Him.

I asked the Lord that I might grow

In faith and love and every grace

Might more of His salvation know

And seek more earnestly His face

God hears and answers our prayers, but not in the way we want. He does what is best, and often what is best is not what we want. We want the quick and easy road to spiritual maturity. God knows we learn best through adversity. We'll never understand the depths of the wickedness in our hearts if God doesn't reveal it to us.

Twas He who taught me thus to pray

And He I trust has answered prayer

But it has been in such a way

As almost drove me to despair.

We scheme and try to do things to order our world and to appear to others to have it all together. God, in His great wisdom, thwarts those foolish efforts, in order to produce lasting change.

I hoped that in some favored hour

At once He'd answer my request

And by His love's constraining power

Subdue my sins and give me rest

Instead of this He made me feel

The hidden evils of my heart

And let the angry powers of Hell

Assault my soul in every part

How hard it is to take a good look at the evils of our own heart. Yet it is the wise thing to do. I have more to say about Self-Assessment in a series of blog posts I am planning to write over the next few days. I learned much from the SGF Ladies' Retreat. I will share it with you.

Yea more with His own hand He seemed

Intent to aggravate my woe

Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,

Cast out my feelings, laid me low

Fair designs. They look good. But they're weak imitations of the genuine article.

Lord why is this, I trembling cried

Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?

"Tis in this way" The Lord replied

"I answer prayer for grace and faith"

Notice the Sovereignty of God here... John Newton acknowledges that he belongs to God (thy worm) and that he is insignificant compared to HIM.

"These inward trials I employ

From self and pride to set thee free

And break thy schemes of earthly joy

That thou mayest seek thy all in me,

That thou mayest seek thy all in me."

God breaks all of our schemes, all of our silly little attempts to find joy on this earth apart from God... and He graciously teaches us to seek our All in Him. Praise His name forever!

©2004 double v music (ASCAP).

How to Raise Good Kids

I found this gem of a book, written by Barbara Cook in 1978, in my library. I dusted it off, and had a look. There is much wisdom therein, and here's a sample:

What Are Your Goals in Parenting?

What God Wants for my Child (positive goals in character building)	Therefore, I Will Not Allow: (negative opposites)
1. Obedience Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.	Disobedience
2. Respect for Authority Ephesians 6:2 “Honor your father and mother”	Rebellious attitude, smart mouth, backtalk, scornful look, rudeness
3. Self-control Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. Proverbs 16:32 Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Proverbs 25:28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.	Unrestrained anger, temper tantrums, prolonged self-pity spells
4. Patience 1 Thessalonians 5:14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.	Impatience and sharpness
5. Diligence (enthusiasm, motivation, & the ability to work) Proverbs 15:19 The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway. Romans 12:11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.	Laziness or nonchalant disinterest
6. Kindness Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.	Rudeness & selfishness
7. Courage & Confidence Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 2 Timothy 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.	Fear & timidity

8. Happiness & Joy (love for life) 1 Peter 3:10 For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; Philippians 2:14 Do all things without grumbling or questioning. Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.	Depression & Complaining
9. Love for Others Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour. James 4:11 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. Titus 3:1-2 Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarrelling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.	Criticism
10. Ability to Get Along with People Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Romans 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Proverbs 17:14 The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out. James 4:1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.	Quarrelling
11. Honesty Romans 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all. Ephesians 4: 25, 25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbour, for we are members one of another. Ephesians 4:28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labour, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Proverbs 11:1 A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight.	Lying, cheating & stealing
12. Wisdom & Knowledge Proverbs 2:4 if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. 6 For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; 7 he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, 8 guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints. 9 Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; Proverbs 8:33 Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it.	Ignorance & Lack of Education
13. Purity 2 Timothy 2:22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.	Perverted thinking or wrong information about physical intimacy
14. Friendliness Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. 2 Timothy 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.	Shyness
15. Dependability, Loyalty (Responsibility & Faithfulness) Proverbs 11:13 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered. Proverbs 25:19 Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.	Irresponsibility

Balanced Growth: Spiritual, Physical, Mental, & Social Development

Luke 2:40 And the child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom. And the favour of God was upon him.

Luke 2:52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favour with God and man.

The final touch: Being Filled with the Holy Spirit

Luke 3:21 Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heavens were opened, 22 and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form, like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”

Luke 4:1 And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness

Luke 4:14 And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee, and a report about him went out through all the surrounding country.

I printed off this chart to use for memory work this year in our homeschool. Character training is something we continually work on, as we point our children to Christ. We don't want to teach our children not to lie, per se, but to teach them that there is a Truth-teller that is watching, and that they will some day give an account for their honesty (or lack thereof) to Him. Character building has to come from within, from fruit that grows from roots that are sunk deep into the Source of Life. All other character training is "fruit-stapling", and will not last.

Get Wisdom

Wisdom is better than jewels,

and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.

I'm not saying that I don't like jewels. I really, really like my diamonds. I like my ring with pearls and sapphires, inherited from my mother. "Bling" makes me happy. It puts a smile on my face.

I walked into the bank today, and the teller had on a flashy top. It was patterned, and had shiny sequins throughout the paisley pattern. She looked pretty. She felt pretty. She confided in me that her sister wouldn't be caught dead in that top, but that she didn't care. She liked it!

I GET that. One of my favourite tops is a V-neck brown, longsleeved top. The V is dressed up with sequins, and every time I wear it, I feel pretty. It doesn't matter to me that my friends don't like to wear clothes with bling. I DO. I even chose my glasses because they have little tiny "diamonds" at the temples.

Proverbs 8:10 Take my instruction instead of silver,

and knowledge rather than choice gold,

11 for wisdom is better than jewels,

and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.

As it says in the Word, no matter how much I like my earthly possessions, nothing I desire compares with wisdom. Diamonds don't give me peace. Sapphires don't make me sing. Gold doesn't fill my heart with joy. Silver doesn't make me rest.

Wisdom does.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. God in His wisdom created this world with all of its beauty.

Psalm 104:24

O Lord, how manifold are your works!

In wisdom have you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.

He is all-wise. And He wants us to be like Him!

Consider these verses:

Psalm 90:12

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

We need to learn that our lives are but a vapour.

We're here today, and gone tomorrow.

Psalm 111:10

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;

all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!

We gain wisdom as we begin to fear God

- acknowledge Him for Who He is,

and give Him the respect He is due.

Proverbs 1:7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;

fools despise wisdom and instruction.

If I studied my whole life

and knew everything there is to know about any subject,

but knew not God,

I would know nothing.

Let me not be a fool.

Let me seek wisdom and instruction

by reading the Bible every day!

Proverbs 16:16

How much better to get wisdom than gold!

To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.

Gold is pretty, but it will burn up.

Diamonds sparkle, but they will melt in the fervent heat.

Wisdom endures forever.

Proverbs 31:26

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

This is my desire. This is my prayer.

Get WISDOM!