Reflections on Chronic Pain without Cure

I sit here in my little corner where I spend the first hour of most mornings, basking in peace that is palpable.  Bulova clock ticks softly in the background, like a heartbeat- constant tempo giving me comfort.  The previous owner, a godly lady, has gone before me to heaven; some day I will tell her that I am grateful for the use of her travel clock.  Neither of us will need it in that place where time shall be no more.

Pain is my constant companion.  Sunshine streams in the window, reminding me of the Son Who knows my frame, Who has lovingly given me this thorn in my flesh.  How can I best make use of it?  Lord, show me.

My friend does not understand my longing to depart and be with Christ, which is far better.  My daughter does understand me, but is not yet willing to give up her mom, the Granny to her children.  I love that she wants me to stay.

My life is in the Lord's hands.  He numbers my days.  My heart's desire is to live out the gospel daily, to extol the Beauties of my God forever.

I admit to a twinge of jealousy over those whose life is cut short.  But that feeling, I know, is selfish.  It is better for my husband of 39 years, and for my precious family and friends, that I should remain, in pain, but with my eyes fixed firmly on my Lord Jesus.

Let me serve You well, dear Lord.
     Let me bless Your people in my weakness.
          Let me praise You no matter what comes my way.
You are my Rock.
     You are my Clock.
          Your timing is perfect.
               Your presence is constant.
     In this I rest.
     I am content.